Why A NASCAR Race Has 43 Drivers
Mar 19, 2008
There are 43 cars in a NASCAR race, and there are 43 presidents.
Here is what might happen if U. S. presidents competed against each other on a NASCAR Speedway.
In the pole position was George W. Bush because he is the sitting president. The track, of course, is an oval. Invited to wave the green flag was Al Gore, who co-founded NASCAR and later invented the restrictor plate.
The racing teams are different. Out with Roush, Childress and Evernham. In with Military General Motors, Adams Family Racing and Abraham Motorsports.
Bush holds the lead for only seconds before Teddy Roosevelt - like a moose on a mission - charges to the front. But before a lap is completed, the caution flag comes out when Ford’s back end slips and James Garfield slams into him, taking out both cars. Garfield, who started 43rd, also failed to complete a lap in qualifying.
Oh no, trouble in the pits. It seems that Bill Clinton’s Slick Willy Racing pit crew is caught messing around with his engine. Clinton is sent to the back of the field but later protests the penalty.
“It depends on what you mean by ‘messing around’,” he’s quoted in a prepared statement.
William Taft takes an enormous lead but the highlight of the first 100 laps comes when George Washington, in the No. 1 car, crawls onto the hood and strikes a famous Delaware River pose. That might fly at Dover International Speedway, but Federalists in the crowd see it as grandstanding.
With 10 laps to go, it’s a race between “Tricky Dick” Nixon, Abe Lincoln, Woody Wilson and Harry Truman. But here comes James Monroe, who hopes to shock the field.
Nixon is disqualified for cheating and security has to escort him off the track.
“I am not a crook,” he insists.
John Kennedy offers a toast: “Ask not what auto racing can do for you but what you can do to beat Jeff Gordon.”
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